Are all marriages from God? I know that in Africa people can make another
person (they fancy) to marry them by using love portions. What is the biblical
position of such marriages? Can if you realized that you have been tricked into
entering such a union be able to get away (divorce). Is divorce justifiable? Is
it acceptable in God's eyes to pray for your sibling, friend or child trapped in
such marriages to get out of them?
Response: Hebrews 13:4 says: “Marriage should
be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure; for God will judge the
adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”
Not all marriages are from God. In the world today, we have various ways by
which men and women contact themselves in marriage. The following are some of
In the Lord (Marriage between believers)
In the World (Marriage between unbelievers)
To answer this question very well, I will like to direct you to the origin of
marriage as ordained by God in the beginning.
Gen 2:20b-25 “But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God cause
the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping he took one of the
man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman
from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be
called woman for she was taken out of man. For this reasons a man will leave his
father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
From the above passage we can see God in the union. Adam gave a testimony that
Eve was taken out of him. It was a spiritual surgery that God performed inside
Adam to bring out Eve. This is a marriage that has the hand of the Lord.
In the territorial and contemporary churches today, we discover that people
don’t have time to pray for the will of God again. While it is true that what
happened to Adam may not necessary be the thing that will happen to any one
looking for a future partner today, we still believe that God can lead. He can
guide us by His Spirit when we have reach a marriageable age and are looking
unto God for a partner that is God’s perfect will.
Psalm 37:4-5 “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desire of
Commit your ways to the Lord, trust also in him and he will do this.
We discover that today people are not interested in committing their ways unto
the Lord. They care less who rules their lives for them. It is important that
the Lord Jesus be invited into our lives so that he can take care of those
things that concern us including our marriage lives. I tell people during
messages and retreats and convention gatherings that the horrible mistake a
person can make in life that may not be redeemable is to marry someone who is
not in the will of God. It is important to seek the face of the Lord in prayer and
be convinced of the person you want to marry. Both parties should do this only
in the Lord – when they would have been born again. God wants a suitable person
Malachi 2:15-16 “Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are
his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in
yourself in your Spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. I
hate divorce, says the LORD God of Israel, and I hate a man’s covering himself
with violence as well as with his garment says the LORD Almighty. So guard
yourself f in your spirit and do not break faith.
Like I have said above God is the author of marriage. He instituted it and he
doesn’t any anyone to toil (play) with a relationship that has his signature. No
wonder he said the union is an honorable one – Hebrews 13:4.
From the above background, there is no special bible for the African continent.
We have only one authentic bible as our guide. The same rule that binds people
in the West is the same that binds people in the African continent. Jesus Christ
died for both the Jews and the Gentiles.
In the African setting, people marry more than one wife simply because of
covetousness and the heart of adultery in them. If you find yourself to be the
second wife having been tricked into it and you have accepted Jesus Christ as
your Lord and Savior and you want to make peace, you are free to restitute by
leaving that husband who tricked you into the relationship and made you to be
the second or third wife. This is common in Africa. I have had occasions to
counsel some of our brothers and sisters who have found themselves in this type
of situation. Once they get born again and the truth of the Gospel is revealed
to them, they have been directed to do what the bible recommends. The bible says
“Therefore shall a man leave his mother and his father and cleave unto his wife
and the two shall become one flesh” – Gen. 2:24 KJV
In situations like that it is not divorce, it is quitting where you have been an
intruder and looking unto God for a right partner when you would have prayed to
God. I have also seen restituted wife getting rightly married in Africa. Why
must you be the second wife in the house of someone who has a wife already? It
is not God’s will. When you leave, you are doing what the bible says. You should
not be an intruder.
In the African setting it may not be too easy for you to go away with your
children. As a wife, the man has direct control over the children of the
marriage. Except a customary court so direct, you as a woman leaving the home of
a man that has tricked you into relationship cannot take custody of the children
of your marriage. Children belong to the man in Africa.
It is not a crime to pray that those who have been tricked into ungodly marriage
should be prayed for so that their eyes can be opened to see the light. The
light is Jesus Christ. Getting out without the Lord as their personal Savior and
Lord is going from frying pan to fire. If you realize that you are the only one
born again in the family and the man has not other wife, you should pray that
the Lord should open the eyes of your spouse so that He also can see the light.
Seeking divorce is not the solution. After all we are saved by grace. The grace
that save you; with your prayers can save your husband too. The Christ
like-character you live at will go a long way to preach to your spouse so that
he too can be save. I know of a sister who got born again before her husband.
She was really humiliated and abused. She was always being beaten after the
husband would have taken much of alcohol. That woman would collect the vomits of
the husband after every day’s drinking outreach with tears of prayers on her
eyes. Because she labored in prayers, the man became born again. He is now an
ordained preacher of the Gospel.
On realizing that you have been lured (tricked) into relationship that is
ungodly and having understood what the Bible says, you should seek the face of
the Lord and ask him to set you free from the clutches of the devil.
If you have married a person who perhaps is not born again yet, you should
continue to pray that salvation would come to your home. God does not allow
divorce in this case. He hates divorce. He does not condone it at all.
There is a testimony of a sister who was counseled to be patient before getting
married. She was told to pray more so that she can be sure that the person to
married is truly born again and that he is the will of God for her life. She was
in a hurry to get married. Unfortunately, the “so called brother” he married was
not a believer. After the solemnization of the holy wedlock she met the worse
surprise of her life in the even of the wedding. She saw in the matrimonial home
a group of Muslim leaders who insisted that she must be wedded in the Muslim way
again. She located the house of the pastor who joined them that day in the
mid-night. She wanted the pastor to divorce them. But the pastor replied: “What
God hath joined together let no man put asunder…”
You are warned! You should be on the Lord’s side. Be born again today so that
eternity can be guaranteed you and your have peace in your life as well as your
God bless you!
Rev Debo Adeyemo
The institute of marriage was created by God. However, apart from Adam and Eve,
so far as I know, God has not chosen our partners, we have. Or our parents have
depending on our culture. Having created the institute of marriage, God supports
marriages. While divorce is permitted because of the hardness of our hearts, our
first option is supposed to be working out our problems.
2Corinthians 6:14-AV Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for
what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath
light with darkness?
We are told to not marry unbelievers in the first place. I don’t know to what
extent witchcraft is able to ‘force’ someone to marry as stated in the question.
It is my understanding that evil spirits are not able to act on anyone who has
the protection of the Holy Spirit. I expect it could be done to people who were
not saved, and if they later became saved, would find themselves in an uneven
marriage. There is precedent for divorce being a solution in such cases.
Ezra 10:10-AV And Ezra the priest stood up, and said unto them, Ye have
transgressed, and have taken strange wives, to increase the trespass of Israel.
Ezra 10:11-AV Now therefore make confession unto the LORD God of your fathers,
and do his pleasure: and separate yourselves from the people of the land, and
from the strange wives.
More than 100 couples were divorced in Ezra 10. The basis for all these divorces
was that Jews had married non-Jews. This biblical example makes marriage to a
non-believer a legitimate basis for divorce.
1Corinthians 7:12-AV But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath
a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put
1Corinthians 7:13-AV And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and
if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
1Corinthians 7:14-AV For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and
the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children
unclean; but now are they holy.
1Corinthians 7:15-AV But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or
a sister is not under bondage in such [cases]: but God hath called us to peace.
1Corinthians 7:16-AV For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save
[thy] husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save [thy] wife?
In these verses Paul counseled staying together if they were pleased to do so in
the hope that the believing spouse would convert the unbelieving spouse. However
if the unbelieving spouse departed then it was ok to let them go. The reference
to children being unclean has nothing to do with the spiritual state of
children, Paul was speaking of the civil legitimacy of children in those days
who were in single parent families.
Now in answer to the question, taking the example of Ezra 10, it is ok to
divorce a spouse who is an unbeliever if staying in the marriage is detrimental
to the spiritual cleanliness. In this context it would be acceptable to seek
assistance in prayer for the dissolution of such a marriage. From the example in
1Corinthians, it is ok to divorce in such circumstances and is also ok if the
couple want to stay together.
As with all divorce situations, there is not requirement of God that people
divorce, but if they think they should, or need to, then they may. Sufficient to say that the
bible gives several reasons for divorce and that when all advice is rendered
down, it is a decision to be made by the individuals, having exhausted all
reasonable attempts to resolve the problems. Some believe that the only
legitimate grounds for divorce is adultery, but this is an error.
The marriage between a man and a woman is symbolic of the marriage between
Christ and the church. The book of Hosea is devoted to describing this
relationship. Hosea was required to marry a prostitute and then when she went
off with other men, go after her, bring her back and forgive her. Time and
again. Just the way God has done with first the children of Israel, then the
church, and also with individual Christians. Whilst most of these biblical
examples are written in the masculine, readers should understand that principles
apply equally to both sexes. This is easily established in scripture.
The main thing to understand is the need for salvation. Just as a Christian
experience involves disobedience, confession, forgiveness, tolerance and
longsuffering on the part of Christ with us, so too does the relationship
between a man and woman if a happy union is to be made. Christ will never
divorce anyone unless they absolutely refuse to enter into a relationship with
Him. Those who refuse will one day face ‘divorce’ in the lake of fire at the
judgement. If any reader needs confession and forgiveness, and their marriage
relationship with Christ fixed up, answer ‘The Savior’s Call’ in this
I feel that divorces are justified only if
there's some infidelity and God does put marriages together but there's free
will. Temptation of the flesh is weak and so many marriages ends up in divorces
because of the wrong choices that a man or woman makes. God hates
Also God says, "Marriage is honorable and the bed undefiled, whoremonger/adulters
he will judge", Do not committ adultery and "Do not covet", in other words don't
desires someone else husband or wife because of your sinful desires you cause
break-up of a marriage, home and family. Peoples that does this can't think that
they are going to prosper.
If a marriage is performed in the presence of the Lord in a church by a man of
God it's most definitely a marriage from God. Annulments are condoned in
the Catholic religion under certain circumstances, but the Lord hates
divorce. He would have us pray for a bad marriage that one of our children
are in to become a Godly marriage. To turn their hard hearts into soft ones and
become united as one in heart instead of praying for divorce or escape. Matthew
19:4-9 says. AT The beginning the Creator made them male and female, and
said, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to
his wife, and the two will become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one.
Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
they asked "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce
and send her away?" Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your
wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way in the beginning. I
tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness,
and marries another woman commits adultery." 1Corinthians 7:10-11 says To
the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord), a wife must not separate
from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be
reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. MAY
ALL BE BLESSED!
You would have to say yes wouldn't you?" A
man leaves his father and mother to become one flesh with his wife."
I believe that the Lord has a plan for all of us when it comes to marriage or
anything else. Being "TRICKED" into marrying someone is not what God would want.
To me that is being deceitful (Satan). I don't think He would frown upon you if
you chose to get divorced do to the fact that it was not part of "HIS PLAN."
Surely, all marriages are NOT from God. To
everything good and noble and pure there is a counterfeit; so it is true also
with potential mates. Satan would love to attack us in this area and what better
way than to convince someone an ungodly or abusive person is God's perfect
choice for us? Knowing what a liar and deceiver the enemy is, God provided us
with some clues to see IF it is His choice for us.
1. We are not to be unequally yoked. Is this person saved? I do not mean have
they given lip service I mean what is the fruit in their lives? The Word says a
good tree can not bear bad fruit and a bad tree can not bear good fruit.
2. Does the meeting of this person and consequent courtship agree with the Word
or are there problems already?
3. The Lord calls us His children. Does the potential mate treat us like we are
the children of God?
4. Do you and this person pray together and ask God His will? These will do an
initial weed-out to see if God is in this relationship or not BEFORE vows are
said. The Lord also made provision for those who have convinced themselves that
it was God's will when it was really self will. The provision I am speaking
about is where He speaks of being unequally yoked and says that a wife should
remain with her husband if he wishes to dwell with her (him being or proving
himself a non-believer and she a believer) but IF he wants to leave, let him go,
she is not bound to him. What a gracious God we serve.
Are all marriages from God? NO! The institute of marriage is from God. One can
make a mistake and marry the wrong person? Some people should not marry under
any circumstances. Is that grounds for divorce? That is a question for prayer by
the person most affected. Can someone marry for the wrong reasons? Absolutely!
Should one pray for another's marriage to dissolve? NO! Pray that God will
prefect that which concerns the person/relationship. The rules the Bible lays
down have more to do with remarriage that with staying in a bad marriage.
first became serious about serving the Lord, I was coming out of a brutal
marriage. Of course some well meaning Christian sister, came us to me to tell me
she was going to "pray my marriage back together!" I think she was a little
surprised when I ask her to first be willing to cut her own throat if I were
killed or injured in the "marriage" she wanted for me! Remember, I was a babe in
Christ at the time! I believe that a good marriage is one of the greatest gifts
that God can give. I am also painfully aware that a bad one can be one of the
worst experiences known to man. A marriage is between the two people involved.
One can pray for: God's will in the marriage, The safety of the parties
involved, For the children to learn the "right" lesson from what they see and
experience. This was a very complex question. Thanks for asking. JMHO,
Hello Everyone, In regards to the questions on marriages that were brought about
through spells and such...I feel that any relationship that does not have the
blessing of the Lord is doomed. Just look at marriages in Hollywood. People
divorce their spouses to marry another or live with their partner before taking
the leap and often have children without marriage. The tabloids are loaded with
stories of these relationships floundering in just a short amount of time. GOD
WAS NOT INVITED INTO THESE RELATIONSHIPS.
People just did what was fun or easy
for them at the time without regard of God's laws on marriage. If every
relationship was taken to God in prayer not oracles, tarot readers and such the
heartache that could be spared! God knows who and what we need and when we need
them. I don't know if these spells really work but if they do the are of the
Devil not God and therefore God is the victor. In such a case I would advise God
to be invited in even if you never extended the invitation before He will be
happy to accept it. Pray for divine intervention and He will show you what He
wants. He can bring love, peace and happiness where it never existed before.
Please remember to always pray for the salvation of others. Pray that God's
divine will be in one another's lives. If a marriage or relationship is a bad one
ask that God enter the lives and touch all those concerned. Actually that maybe
a good request anyway! Now stand back and prepare for a miracle it will happen
it time! May God Bless all of you.
In His Love,